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Children After A Divorce

The care, stability and protection of your children are critical issues involved in every divorce case.

When two people are married and have children, they both share the custody and responsibility of raising these children. However, if the same two people divorce, the custody of their children is divided. The time shared can be split 50/50, 60/40, or another way. The parties can agree to a time-share or can allow the court to determine one, based on the best interests of the children.

When the court makes the determination, it looks at numerous factors, including who took care of the children most of the time, who took them to school and helped them with school work, who took them to the doctor and dentist, and who cooked for them.

The care of the children after a divorce is the most ongoing source of conflict for parents. Courts, most of the time, will honor a custody agreement reached by the parents. However, if they cannot come to an agreement, the court will request the parents to participate in a mandatory mediation session. If they still cannot agree on custody, the court will do so for them.

There are several types of custody arrangements:

  • Physical custody – gives the parent or both parents the rights and responsibilities for the daily activities of their children. The children live with the parent or parents who is awarded physical custody.
  • Legal custody – gives the parent or both parents the rights and responsibilities to make major decisions regarding their children’s upbringing – including medical care, education, religion, and day-to-day activities.
  • Joint custody – Under California Family Code Sections 3080 through 3089, both parents can be awarded joint legal custody and joint physical custody. Joint custody allows both parents to share the responsibility for making major decisions. They must be able to work together.
  • Visitation – The most common schedule allows the non-custodial parent to see his or her children one night during the week, every other weekend, and part of the summer vacation.
  • Holidays and special dates usually alternate between the parents.

California courts most of the time favor joint legal and joint physical custody. It is best for both parents to be completely involved in the upbringing of their children; it is best for the children as well.

Custody is addressed throughout the divorce process in the following ways:

  • Temporary hearing – The court issues an order regarding the legal aspects of the relationship between the two parties. It will issue a temporary custody solution if one hasn’t been agreed on.
  • Mediation – is required if there are conflicts regarding the arrangement. The mediator meets with the parents and children several times and helps resolve the issues the family is facing. The mediator then sends a report to the court with custody recommendations
  • Evaluation – by a court-appointed psychologist is ordered if an agreement cannot be reached prior to trial. The evaluation includes discussions with the parents, children and teachers. It must be completed before the court enters a final custody determination.
  • Trial – Final custody arrangements are determined at the trial – based on the best interests of the children.

If a parent wants to change the court-ordered custody and visitation agreement, he or she must show a significant change in circumstances has occurred before requesting a custody modification.

When faced with uncertainties, an experienced family lawyer will give you the personal attention you need at a stressful time such as this. Call the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke, located in San Bernardino, Riverside, and Orange Counties.

As experienced family attorneys, we always remind parents to focus on being the best parent possible. We will make a commitment to you and help you take positive steps towards the future.

Long Distance Parenting

It’s never easy to be away from your children – whether for a few hours, a few days or most of the time.

When parents are together, moving their family isn’t usually a problem. The problem, however, occurs when parents are divorced and one parent is made to be a long-distant parent.

Long-distance parenting is one of the most difficult challenges facing parents who go through divorce. With the divorce rate being so high, it’s an experience that thousands of divorced families go through every day.

If you are a parent contemplating

relocation to another city or state, you must understand that there are consequences for your children. After all, children rely on their parents to make good decisions for them and children also require a daily dose of love, attention and affection.

Keep in mind that not only will you become a long-distant parent, but your children will become long-distant children – your relationship will very likely change. Children lose out on having both parents attending their school or extra-circular events, helping them with their homework, being in their cheering section when need be. Children lose the balance that having two parents provides.

How do I make this work, you ask? If you have considered all of your alternatives and you have no choice but to move, then you and your ex-spouse must work really hard to ensure that the relationship between you and your children continues.

Bear in mind – this is not going to be easy. It requires integrity, compassion, focus and a commitment to the parent-child relationship. You must give it your all. Regardless of how far you are from your children, if you focus completely on them and what they need in order to thrive, it will become easier to take the actions that will meet their needs.

An important key to maintain a strong, healthy relationship with your children is communication with not only them, but your ex. When you lived under one roof, you knew if they were sick, what they did in school, who their friends are, or if they wanted to pierce one of their body parts.

Don’t let communication about daily life change. As the long-distant parent, you must work to maintain your relationship with your children. Unless you keep communications open on a regular basis, you’ll miss a lot about what’s going on in your children’s lives.

Keep your conversations going – use e-mail, text or webcams, in addition to the telephone. If possible, visit, even if it’s for a few hours or overnight.

Even if you reside in a different state from your children, an attorney can protect your legal rights as a parent.

Are you seeking permission to relocate, want to prevent a relocation, or simply need a child custody plan to accommodate for long-distance visitation, the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke have experience assisting parents, such as yourself, in developing parenting plans that protect your parental rights.

One of the primary functions of the family court system is to protect the best interests of children in divorce and post-divorce matters. Different considerations apply to visitation schedules when the parents live next door, across town, in another county, in another state, or even in another country. Our attorneys have experience in all of these types of cases and are here to help you.

If you have any questions or concerns about visitation or any other divorce-related issues, do not hesitate to contact our attorneys today. We are conveniently located in San Bernardino, Riverside and Orange Counties.

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The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.