A divorce can be an overwhelming experience, and the last thing you want to worry about is what not to do. However, people make mistakes all the time and it is best to educate yourself and having a great legal team by your side to help guide you along the way is what we are here for. Hopefully, after reading this you will be able to learn about some big mistakes people often make during the divorce process and how to avoid those in futures to come.

Making decisions without fully understanding the implications is a common mistake spouses tend to make. When you file for a divorce, it is important that you understand that assets will have to be divided among both spouses evenly. If you have children, the responsibilities of providing for them will have to be delegated, etc. If you do not fully understand and have control through every step of your divorce, those are permanent decisions you will have to live with.

Beyond that, seven of the worst divorce mistakes to make include the following:

1. Forcing your children to take your side – never use your children as pawns in the process; always remind them that both parents love them
2. Don’t be short-sighted about things, such as the television of DVD collection
3. Your attorney is not your therapist – keep in mind the money you are spending while you complain to him or her
4. Don’t be nonchalant when it comes to your divorce – no need to call your attorney hourly or even daily, but it’s good to stay on top of your case in a reasonable manner. Rather than constant calls, request a weekly e-mail update.
5. Don’t scratch mediation off your list – give it a try; what do you have to lose? You may be able to settle all of your issues without a judge doing it for you.
6. Never bad-mouth your spouse to your children – this person will always be your children’s mom or dad – regardless of your relationship with that person.
7. Rebound relationships are not healthy – even though you feel you need the comfort or emotional connection with another party, refrain because you are not ready to give another person what they deserve in a relationship.

Dvorce is one of the most common issues in Family Law. It can be simple, fast, and amicable or contentious, complicated, and lengthy. Each divorce has its own circumstances and factors to deal with. If you are thinking about a divorce in Southern California, you will want a family attorney who has experience in helping spouses resolve their differences and who can represent you in the courtroom should your case be required to go to trial. At the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke you will find divorce attorneys who are fully versed in all of the legal aspects of divorce and will ensure that your legal rights are fully protected and that your voice is heard. Call us today!

Marriage is still very popular today, but sadly so is divorce. Half of all marriages end in divorce today.

Anyone who has had to pay for the wedding and/or the divorce knows it can be pretty expensive.

You have alternatives to keeping the costs down. You can use a trained mediator who will draw up a proposed divorce settlement which you can take to a lawyer to check out for you. Or, you can do virtually everything yourself. You and your spouse can draw up an agreement, which can be looked over by a lawyer before submitting to the court.

All in all, working with a lawyer could be the best way for you to proceed with your divorce. An experienced divorce lawyer who cares about your welfare may help you win the best possible settlement. However, not every divorce is the same. If you and your spouse have a reasonable relationship despite opting for divorce and you are able to communicate with one another, you could significantly reduce the cost of your divorce.

In addition, aside from lawyer fees, time in court is also costly.

In many instances each spouse hires a lawyer who goes after the other person. They may dig up dirt on you and paint you as a very bad person. They use vindictive behavior to win their case. Not all lawyers are like that. Some aim to achieve the best result for their client without attacking their opponent’s client. These lawyers can be much cheaper because they spend less time attacking and more time negotiating.

By following these tips, you, too, can keep the costs down in your divorce:

• If at all possible, aim for an uncontested divorce
• Prepare and spend time making your case
• Avoid litigation completely
• Keep the lines of communication open, even if it requires a third party to help do so
• Make a financial check list, including bank accounts, pension plans, medical insurance, financial investments, assets, debts, etc.

Your divorce can be as expensive or as cheap as you make it. No one wants to add a huge bill to the trauma of a divorce proceeding.

An experienced divorce lawyer could be the best way to handle your divorce,schedule a consultation today, and get all your questions answer, an a walk through of the entire divorce process.

There are few things more frustrating than finding out that your ex-husband is dating a friend of yours. Is it really the biggest deal in the world? YES! (No, it’s not.) But we know that it can be tough to deal with.

You can go from feeling betrayed, hurt, dumb, insignificant, not good enough, and many other emotions all because your ex, who is now single, is dating your single friend. Once they break up you’ll probably realize that it was dumb how much time and energy you spent thinking about their relationship, but here are some tips from DivorcedGirlSmiling’s Jackie Pilossoph that will help get you there sooner:

What they’re doing is breaking the “friend code” according to most people. So it’s not you who should feel bad—if anyone, it’s them. And they probably will. And if they don’t, they may not be the best of friends.

They’re dating because it’s forbidden fruit. Most people know not to cross that boundary, and it’s only lasting because it’s scandalous and exciting. Their boring lives needed that excitement, but it will soon fade and it will be over.

Be bigger. Show grace, class, and elegance. People will look to you to see how you respond. The bigger the person you can be, the better you’ll look and the better you’ll feel.

Call your REAL friends. They’ll side with you, make you feel better and take your mind off it.

You do you. Focus on YOUR life. You’ve been given the chance to re-do, rebuild and start over. Take this time and energy to find you a new man/woman and be the best you possible. Wasting that energy on them is pointless.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Most people marry with “forever” intentions, but it doesn’t always turn out that way. So much for “till death do us part.” Did you know that today, more Americans aged 50+ are divorced than widowed? Recovering from a divorce after a long marriage can be unpleasant and emotional, to say the least. Imagine, all those years invested in the wrong person! You’ve been embroiled in an unhappy marriage, but it’s finally over and you can restart your life. So, you want to know how to save yourself and still keep your self-esteem. Starting out with the right attitude is imperative. You have much to feel good about, such as your health, your children, and even perhaps your home.

The following steps just might get you back to your real self again:

1. Find your strength – Do whatever it takes: exercise every day, stretch, work out, take a walk. You’ll be a new person once you learn to walk with confidence and strength. When you feel differently about yourself, you’ll make better choices.
2. Sometimes just doing something symbolic will create the feeling that you have left your former life behind you – you have moved on to a new start.
3. Learn something new. Challenge yourself physically and mentally in order to feel alive again. Your best years are not behind you – they are in front of you. How many times have you thought that someday, when you have the opportunity, you’re going to do that one thing you always wished for, but never had the time to pursue. Now is the time!

Tips for Grandparents Going Through Divorce

We’re all told that the first few years of marriage are the most difficult, but that’s not stopping couples from calling it quits many years later. Divorce among those over the age of 50 has more than doubled since the 90’s, now affecting 1 in 4 marriages! There are countless articles or groups that parents can turn to for divorce support. What about grandparents? If you have a close relationship with your grandchildren, you can bet they’ll be affected by your divorce.

Family therapist Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. recently wrote a few tips for grandparents going through a divorce or separation that we’ve shared below:

• Unlike children, grandchildren usually don’t live with you and therefore won’t be aware of the daily struggles you’ve been facing as a couple. Keep in mind that it may be entirely shocking to them.
• Children can be immature and selfish, because they’re children. Don’t be surprised if their first questions relate to how it will affect them.
• Don’t ask people to take sides. This can be especially complicated at an older age when your kids have families of their own. But try to keep things peaceful and don’t create factions within the extended family.
• Don’t marginalize all relationships. Your grandkids may have looked to you as an example of a lasting marriage. Don’t make remarks that will make them think no marriage lasts, even jokingly. Remind them that just because your marriage didn’t work out until the end, doesn’t mean theirs can’t or won’t.
• Stay close to your grandkids. You offer a unique kind of love and a special relationship that shouldn’t be compromised because you’re now divorced.

Divorce After 50: Unique Issues Older Couples Face

According to United States Divorce Statistics released in 2012, an estimated 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Every day someone is dealing with divorce and the complications both emotional and physical that come of them. However, have you ever considered the issues that older couples face (age 50+) face when the decision to divorce is made?

Needless to say, not everything runs smoothly. There are a lot of different things to think about and consider. For example, if either spouse is receiving Social Security benefits, they cannot be equally divided in a divorce. However, there are certain rules and regulations that can help contribute towards your benefits if you were married for at least ten years.

If you are over the age of 62, you can collect benefits following a divorce on your former spouse’s record without receiving a reduction in benefits to your former spouse. After divorce, each spouse would have to provide his or her own individual health insurance. COBRA laws allow for the previous spouse employer-provided insurance plan for 36 months following a divorce, however it can be really expensive.

Aside of all of the logistics of health insurance and benefits, divorcing at such an age with years of marriage under your belt can be really tough. Since you have basically spent most of your life that person, the idea of beginning a new life without them can be really scary and hard to think about. But having a good support group around you and family divorce lawyer can help make that journey a little less difficult.

Get the guidance and clarity from an experienced and prestigious law firm, schedule a consultation, and aggressively represent you protecting your rights.

Do you want to get divorced? Are you asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”

The decision to divorce is critical, with lifelong consequences. If you are still contemplating divorce, you should determine what may or may not lie ahead. As you continue to contemplate divorce and board the emotional roller coaster of deciding whether or not to end your marriage, you should first recognize that divorce doesn’t just happen overnight – it starts with the mere notion of separation – maybe after an argument or several disagreements relating to your parenting skills.

One of the toughest parts of going through the back-and-forth in your head is not knowing much about divorce or not knowing what comes next. By preparing for a divorce before it actually happens, you can reduce much of the stress and conflict that many people face when they start the divorce process. Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life after divorce, as well as helping you to avoid some of the post-divorce issues.

You need to come up with a plan. Determine a fair and realistic list of goals so that you can determine what you want out of the divorce. When the idea of separating becomes more real, it may be time to contact an attorney to discuss the steps of the divorce process.

Contact Holstrom, Block & Parke. We’ll help you establish a game plan.

Planning for Your Divorce

There are a number of things you should do now before you begin legal proceedings. We help clients organize their personal and professional finances before they begin the divorce process. Pre-divorce planning is recommended for married parties of all incomes. It is time to get organized. The more prepared you are with your assets, debts, and income, the sooner you can enter the family law process of dissolving your marriage. To schedule an initial consultation with a divorce planning lawyer, contact us. Divorce is a systematic process that requires documentation of important financial information, estate planning documents, and more. By gathering these documents now, you can save time further along in the process.Your pre-divorce planning may include:

• Organizing assets and debts
• Budgeting
• Gathering appropriate financial documents
• Identify your separate versus community property

Couples with children should think about establishing a temporary child custody arrangement that will stay in effect until child custody is determined by the court. Effective pre-divorce planning can help you plan for your future financial needs and those of your family. The courts do not typically have the authority to give orders for necessities like rent, food, and utilities. With proper pre-divorce planning, we can help you establish how these important daily needs will be taken care of.

We can help you determine your options in a variety of matter. In the event that the other spouse is not cooperating, we can assist you in mapping out important decisions about your future. Answers to such things as where you are going to live or what car you will drive can become very problematic if your spouse it unwilling to cooperate with you. Guidance from our attorneys is critical if you are facing tough practical questions about your life during and after separation and divorce.

The divorce attorneys at Holstrom, Block & Parke understand the deeply personal concerns you are facing. We are committed to providing you with experienced, professional and compassionate personal service. Call us at one of our conveniently located offices today!

Divorce is one of the hardest things that you may ever go through, both emotionally and financially.

While you are focused on your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you shouldn’t forget to keep an eye on another entity that may be after a larger chunk of your assets thanks to your split: The IRS.

Taxes impact nearly every aspect of American life, and divorce is no exception.

It’s often said that there are three parties to a divorce: 1) the husband, 2) the wife, and 3) Uncle Sam. Turns out, divorce has a huge impact on your taxes, and knowing what’s at stake can help you avoid major complications down the road.

While couples negotiate and finalize their divorce, few take time to discuss the tax impact of the decisions they are considering.

Divorce, which is difficult both mentally and emotionally, can be made worse by tax consequences foreseen and unforeseen. Tax consequences often follow every decision made in a divorce, settlement agreement or marital dispute resolution for many years.

Tax consequences are most likely from the distribution of property in a divorce. Two considerations are:

1. Tax consequences which include incomes and deductions of the spouses, numbers of dependents, credits, tax rates, and the amount of tax paid to avoid penalties
2. Legal liabilities, particularly those associated with a married couple filing jointly

Divorce, support and property settlement involves money and property. The wealthier the couple is, the more tax questions and issues come into play in a divorce.

Here are some of the things to keep in mind as you go through the divorce process:

• Filing status – The IRS wants to know your legal marital status as of the end of the year you’re filing for.
• Exemption for children – Who gets to claim exemptions for the children, can make a huge difference to your tax bill.
• Spousal / Child support – Cash payments are deductible by the person who makes them and are counted as income for the person who receives them.
• Retirement accounts – Your spouse may be entitled to part of your IRA or 401(k).
• Property transfers – Neither spouse will realize any capital gain or loss or other tax consequences from receiving or giving up property in a divorce decree.
• Community property – You may be treated as having earned part of your former spouse’s income during the year in which you divorce because California is a community property state.

If you have questions regarding your divorce and tax consequences that may be in store for you, contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke for the answers you need. Call our offices today and get your settlement done right the first time. We can help you take advantage of the many tax advantages available to divorcing couples, and help you avoid the pitfalls.

Call us today at one of our conveniently located offices in Riverside, San Bernardino or Orange County.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.