I can’t believe it; the holidays are almost here. Where has this year gone to?
Co-parenting during the holidays definitely can present some challenges. One such challenge is finding the time-share plan that will work for you and your ex.
Not every parenting plan is the same; the specific time-share arrangements mandated by court-approved parenting plans vary. For example: Some parents alternate the holidays – one parent takes the child for Thanksgiving and the other parent takes the child for Christmas. The next year, they alternate the holidays.
Then there are the parents that attempt to share each holiday in some sort of even split during the day. For example: One parent has the child on Thanksgiving from 9:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. and the other has the child from 3:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m.
In most cases, it’s a win-win situation for the child because he or she gets two Thanksgiving dinners and two visits from Santa Clause.
However, the holidays can be overwhelming for the child as well. For some children, especially young ones, it’s hard to attend multiple family gatherings on the same day. It’s supposed to be a special, fun-filled day – not a stressful and hectic one – many children want to remain at one location.
Parents in a divorce situation often wonder why their child is cranky after coming back from the other house. It’s probably because the child is overwhelmed running back and forth – seeing too many relatives in one day.
It’s time divorced parents came up with a good, solid plan. I know you want to see your child on Thanksgiving or Christmas day, but you really need to put your child’s needs first. Look at the situation through their eyes – they would probably rather just stay put and play with their toys in one place.
A good suggestion for a co-parent is to alternate the holidays every other year unless you and your ex-spouse are friendly with each other. In addition, who says you can’t celebrate a holiday the next day? By doing this your child can enjoy his or her day without the stress and disruption of the custody schedule. And the bottom line is your child won’t care what day he or she eats turkey or receives presents.
Co-parenting can be especially difficult if one of you still harbors anger about the divorce. That is only natural. Why not find a way to work cooperatively as a co-parent after divorce? When this happens, not only do the children benefit, but life is much more pleasant for the parents as well.
If you need helpin coming up with a good co-parenting plan that works for all concerned, contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke for the assistance you need. Please call us with all your questions; we have the answers.
We are conveniently located in Orange, Riverside and San Bernardino Counties.