There are few things more frustrating than finding out that your ex-husband is dating a friend of yours. Is it really the biggest deal in the world? YES! (No, it’s not.) But we know that it can be tough to deal with.

You can go from feeling betrayed, hurt, dumb, insignificant, not good enough, and many other emotions all because your ex, who is now single, is dating your single friend. Once they break up you’ll probably realize that it was dumb how much time and energy you spent thinking about their relationship, but here are some tips from DivorcedGirlSmiling’s Jackie Pilossoph that will help get you there sooner:

What they’re doing is breaking the “friend code” according to most people. So it’s not you who should feel bad—if anyone, it’s them. And they probably will. And if they don’t, they may not be the best of friends.

They’re dating because it’s forbidden fruit. Most people know not to cross that boundary, and it’s only lasting because it’s scandalous and exciting. Their boring lives needed that excitement, but it will soon fade and it will be over.

Be bigger. Show grace, class, and elegance. People will look to you to see how you respond. The bigger the person you can be, the better you’ll look and the better you’ll feel.

Call your REAL friends. They’ll side with you, make you feel better and take your mind off it.

You do you. Focus on YOUR life. You’ve been given the chance to re-do, rebuild and start over. Take this time and energy to find you a new man/woman and be the best you possible. Wasting that energy on them is pointless.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.