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The Truth About Divorce Strategies

Even in Corona or Riverside far from the Hollywood Hills, we’ve all heard, and probably made fun, Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” statement about her divorce. But what does it all mean? Writer Erin Mantz recently shared some insight with HuffPost Divorce. Mantz believes that most of the tips and theories about how to divorce are simply fluff words or buzz terms.

Every parent divorcing has a “strategy” whether they realize it or not. Divorcing is a challenge and co-parenting is certainly a learning process. So which strategy should you believe in?

Mantz believes divorce is not rocket science and you don’t need a Ph.D to understand how to do it right. Here are the three takeaways you need to remember:

  1. Don’t Abandon Your Kids: Your children had two parents before the divorce or separation and they should still have two (in most circumstances). Your kids might try to push you or push your ex away, but remember that’s probably not best for them. Do everything you can to make sure they are lucky enough to have two active parents in their lives.
  2. Don’t Fight In Front of The Kids: Holding your tongue may be a challenge, but if you expect your children to learn self-control, practice what you preach. Being divorced or separated doesn’t mean that fighting or bickering in front of your kids is acceptable—in fact, it may even be worse. Try to create a happy, peaceful co-parenting environment.
  3. Stop Pretending: If you try to act like your co-parenting situation is a cakewalk, your kids will know. You can hold back some of your emotions, but don’t like it isn’t a challenge. If you aren’t honest with them, they may think you’re hiding even more than you are. Protect their feelings, but be honest.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorcing in Your 20's

Our grandparents got married when they were 18, but that doesn’t mean we should. In fact, studies show that the sooner you get married, the more likely it is you’re headed for divorce. Married at 22 and divorced at 28 is an all too common scenario. And while that may seem awful, we’re sure you’ll learn a lot about yourself in that rollercoaster of a decade.

Susie Moore was divorced in her 20’s and she recently shared the following things that experience taught her:

  1. There are no mistakes. Every experience is just that—an experience. And they’re all opportunities to learn and grow. Don’t regret your first marriage- learn from it.
  2. Follow your heart. You’ll learn that following your heart, which told you this marriage won’t last forever and ending the marriage, was the smartest decision you could’ve made. Continue down that track and let your heart guide you to make the right decisions in love.
  3. The ending can still be happy. A divorce doesn’t have to be horribly bitter and dramatic, leaving you with an enemy for an ex. In fact, divorce can be fairly easy and not leave you feeling empty and lost. Shoot for that.
  4. You can always start over. Don’t take another marriage lightly, or any major decision for that matter… but realize that this life is yours to life and you can hit the re-do button almost always if you decide to.
  5. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. You might think you were a close to perfect husband or wife, but an early divorce and a chance to re-marry will teach you just how much better you could’ve been. Don’t beat yourself up for it, but learn and grow from that experience. It will help your next relationship be that much stronger.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

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