Most people marry with “forever” intentions, but it doesn’t always turn out that way. So much for “till death do us part.” Did you know that today, more Americans aged 50+ are divorced than widowed? Recovering from a divorce after a long marriage can be unpleasant and emotional, to say the least. Imagine, all those years invested in the wrong person! You’ve been embroiled in an unhappy marriage, but it’s finally over and you can restart your life. So, you want to know how to save yourself and still keep your self-esteem. Starting out with the right attitude is imperative. You have much to feel good about, such as your health, your children, and even perhaps your home.
The following steps just might get you back to your real self again:
- Find your strength – Do whatever it takes: exercise every day, stretch, work out, take a walk. You’ll be a new person once you learn to walk with confidence and strength. When you feel differently about yourself, you’ll make better choices.
- Sometimes just doing something symbolic will create the feeling that you have left your former life behind you – you have moved on to a new start.
- Learn something new. Challenge yourself physically and mentally in order to feel alive again. Your best years are not behind you – they are in front of you. How many times have you thought that someday, when you have the opportunity, you’re going to do that one thing you always wished for, but never had the time to pursue. Now is the time!
Tips for Grandparents Going Through Divorce
We’re all told that the first few years of marriage are the most difficult, but that’s not stopping couples from calling it quits many years later. Divorce among those over the age of 50 has more than doubled since the 90’s, now affecting 1 in 4 marriages! There are countless articles or groups that parents can turn to for divorce support. What about grandparents? If you have a close relationship with your grandchildren, you can bet they’ll be affected by your divorce.
Family therapist Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. recently wrote a few tips for grandparents going through a divorce or separation that we’ve shared below:
- Unlike children, grandchildren usually don’t live with you and therefore won’t be aware of the daily struggles you’ve been facing as a couple. Keep in mind that it may be entirely shocking to them.
- Children can be immature and selfish, because they’re children. Don’t be surprised if their first questions relate to how it will affect them.
- Don’t ask people to take sides. This can be especially complicated at an older age when your kids have families of their own. But try to keep things peaceful and don’t create factions within the extended family.
- Don’t marginalize all relationships. Your grandkids may have looked to you as an example of a lasting marriage. Don’t make remarks that will make them think no marriage lasts, even jokingly. Remind them that just because your marriage didn’t work out until the end, doesn’t mean theirs can’t or won’t.
- Stay close to your grandkids. You offer a unique kind of love and a special relationship that shouldn’t be compromised because you’re now divorced.
Divorce After 50: Unique Issues Older Couples Face
According to United States Divorce Statistics released in 2012, an estimated 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Every day someone is dealing with divorce and the complications both emotional and physical that come of them. However, have you ever considered the issues that older couples face (age 50+) face when the decision to divorce is made?
Needless to say, not everything runs smoothly. There are a lot of different things to think about and consider. For example, if either spouse is receiving Social Security benefits, they cannot be equally divided in a divorce. However, there are certain rules and regulations that can help contribute towards your benefits if you were married for at least ten years.
If you are over the age of 62, you can collect benefits following a divorce on your former spouse’s record without receiving a reduction in benefits to your former spouse. After divorce, each spouse would have to provide his or her own individual health insurance. COBRA laws allow for the previous spouse employer-provided insurance plan for 36 months following a divorce, however it can be really expensive.
Aside of all of the logistics of health insurance and benefits, divorcing at such an age with years of marriage under your belt can be really tough. Since you have basically spent most of your life that person, the idea of beginning a new life without them can be really scary and hard to think about. But having a good support group around you and family divorce lawyer can help make that journey a little less difficult.
Get the guidance and clarity from an experienced and prestigious law firm, schedule a consultation, and aggressively represent you protecting your rights.