Even in Corona or Riverside far from the Hollywood Hills, we’ve all heard, and probably made fun, Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” statement about her divorce. But what does it all mean? Writer Erin Mantz recently shared some insight with HuffPost Divorce. Mantz believes that most of the tips and theories about how to divorce are simply fluff words or buzz terms.

Every parent divorcing has a “strategy” whether they realize it or not. Divorcing is a challenge and co-parenting is certainly a learning process. So which strategy should you believe in?

Mantz believes divorce is not rocket science and you don’t need a Ph.D to understand how to do it right. Here are the three takeaways you need to remember:

1. Don’t Abandon Your Kids: Your children had two parents before the divorce or separation and they should still have two (in most circumstances). Your kids might try to push you or push your ex away, but remember that’s probably not best for them. Do everything you can to make sure they are lucky enough to have two active parents in their lives.
2. Don’t Fight In Front of The Kids: Holding your tongue may be a challenge, but if you expect your children to learn self-control, practice what you preach. Being divorced or separated doesn’t mean that fighting or bickering in front of your kids is acceptable—in fact, it may even be worse. Try to create a happy, peaceful co-parenting environment.
3. Stop Pretending: If you try to act like your co-parenting situation is a cakewalk, your kids will know. You can hold back some of your emotions, but don’t like it isn’t a challenge. If you aren’t honest with them, they may think you’re hiding even more than you are. Protect their feelings, but be honest.