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I'm the father; how do I prove it?

Your girlfriend just gave birth to a little boy. She says he isn’t yours, but he looks exactly as you did when you were born, according to your mother.

Establishing parentage through paternity action is in the best interest of the child’s physical and emotional well-being. Once you are identified as this little boy’s daddy, he will receive the benefits of child support from both parents.

Paternity can also establish a parent child relationship, which paves the way for a father to exercise his parental rights and be granted visitation. He will receive the love and attention a little boy deserves from his daddy.

However, not all paternity suits mean that the man is the actual father. It wasn’t that long ago that NBA star Michael Jordan was accused of being the biological father to a now 16-year old boy. For unknown reasons, after the woman asked the court to order a DNA test, she dismissed the case against him.

Many times a man is falsely accused of being the father of a child. Then there are times when the woman wants the man out of her life and insists the child isn’t his.

If you believe you fathered a child and you want to be part of his or her life, it is always best to retain a skilled Orange County Family Law attorney who has experience in paternity matters. A father’s active role in his child’s life is equally as important as a mother’s.

Call the Holstrom Family Law offices today. Whether you are concerned about preserving your visitation rights or have questions on establishing paternity, we can guide you through the necessary steps to achieve your goals. At the end of the day, it is the best interest of the child that needs to be remembered.

Child Custody

My Children Need Help

I have heard so many times that after a divorce the parent’s getting along just fine. But there are times where the children themselves cannot get along with their parents.

Children of any age may feel angry when their parents are no longer living together. They are uncertain of what the future holds for them, making the situation stressful and confusing.

It is up to you, as the parent, to make the transition less painful for your children. Helping your children cope with your divorce means being understanding and supportive and attending to their needs with a reassuring and positive attitude.

I know that you are in uncharted territory, but you can help your children to feel loved, confident and strong. Here are a few tips to help your children adjust:

  • Keep your patience
  • Have a listening ear open at all times
  • Provide your children with routines they can depend on
  • Make sure they know that divorce was not their fault
  • Remind them that they can always count on you for stability, care, and structure
  • Try to maintain a cooperative and communicative relationship with your ex
  • Make your children your number one priority

Children go through a range of emotions during the divorce process. Their biggest source of anxiety is the fact that their parents will no longer be together and will no longer be a part of their day-today activities. Pay attention to any changes in your child’s behavior, such as anger or depression.

The practice of family law entails more than just an attorney advising a client about their rights.

If you are going through a divorce and your children are having problems coping with it, contact Holstrom, Block & Parke family law office located in Orange County for the help you need.

Because family issues involve highly emotional and personal situations, we can help you and your children get through what could be the most stressful experience of your lives.

After Divorce / Child Custody / Divorce

The Perks of Being Single

Most of what we write about deals with successfully making through a divorce. And then after divorce we give advice on co-parenting, coping, moving on, etc. What about the perks? You’re single again! If that doesn’t make you a little happy, you need a new perspective. Not being tied down, no matter what the age, can be exciting. You have your freedom again. In case you need some inspiration, Huffington Post readers shared the following best things about single:

  • Your days of feeling lonely even though someone is right next to you are gone
  • No more arguments—for the most part
  • You have your own bed every night. Well, every night that you want your own bed.
  • Spend money however you want. You know all those things you didn’t buy because you didn’t want to deal with your ex being pissed about it? Go buy them.
  • Create your own future. You have no one in your way and you don’t need to think about how a partner might be affected by your decisions.
  • You may actually have the best sex ever. Find that passion again.
  • If you were ever emotionally or physically abused, that will no longer have a place in your life. You should never put up with that again.
  • You know that horrible feeling looking at someone, or your wedding ring, and thinking “worst mistake of my life?” Never again.
  • You have an excellent chance to learn from your past mistakes and be more careful when it comes to choosing a new partner.
After Divorce / Divorce

The Pit Falls of Do-it-Yourself Divorce

The truth of the matter is that you are not required to have a lawyer represent you in your divorce. There are some who are able to represent themselves and complete the divorce process; however, divorce can be a long and arduous process, with many steps and pitfalls along the way.

One mistake could be costly and extremely difficult to correct.

The main reason people attempt to process a divorce on their own is the cost of hiring an attorney. Desiring to save some money is not a bad idea, but if you make a mistake it can cost far more to hire an attorney to help fix the problem. It is much easier to prevent a mistake from happening than it is to go back and correct one that has already been made. In the thousands of divorce cases we have successfully completed, we see clients all too often who began the divorce process on their own, only to discover they have made an error. Retaining an attorney at this point could cost 2-3 times what it would have cost if they had hired an experienced divorce lawyer from the beginning.

Holstrom, Block & Parke offers affordable legal services because we don’t want to see anyone make a huge mistake because they couldn’t afford an attorney. We believe everyone should have access to representation for his or her case, and we do everything in our power to represent anyone we can help.

Common Mistakes Made Without an Attorney:

  • Divorce Forms on the Web: It’s extremely easy to make a mistake on a divorce form found on the Internet and not realize it until it’s too late. These forms may also not be current and can cause a lot of issues down the road.
  • Missed Documents: Have you ever tried reading and fully understanding a statute? If not, now may not be the best time to learn. Many people without attorneys don’t file all the required documents. We receive calls from people who think their divorce was finished years ago, but they forgot to file a document and their world was shattered all over again. In addition to the stress and legal complications, monetary costs skyrocket.
  • Missing a Deadline: Your mental capabilities will almost definitely be lowered when you’re going through this trying time. Lawyers ensure that you will not miss a filing deadline, hearing or any other important date that is crucial to the process.

There are a number of issues that can present themselves to you if you choose to do-it-yourself. Above all, divorce can be a very complicated procedure. There are documents to fill out, hearings to attend, and forms to be filed. Missing any of the steps along the way can cost you time, money, and all sorts of other headaches.

In addition, divorce is a difficult thing to deal with. Even an amicable divorce is not easy. Divorce is an emotional rollarcoaster. You are faced with important decisions that will affect you, your spouse and your children not only now but in the foreseeable future. You need someone who can not only keep a cool head, but is also well-versed in divorce law, to help guide you through the sometimes troubled waters you are about to enter.

The divorce attorneys at Holstrom, Block & Parke can provide you with the best understanding of all your divorce options. We will make sure that you don’t fall victim to the issues and mistakes that so commonly occur with “do-it-yourself” divorce. Call us directly!

Divorce

The Truth About Divorcing with Kids

The term “conscious uncoupling” was essentially coined when Gwyneth Paltrow referred to her divorce as some sort of spiritual experience. We see a lot of difficult divorces, and while it’s great that some couples try to make it a peaceful process… it isn’t if you have kids. Rebecca Bitton recently shared a few “truths” about divorcing with kids that may not be easy to hear… but we think they’re important to know.

1. Kids are not completely resilient. Most divorcing parents are told my friends and family that kids are “stronger than you think” or that they’ll “bounce back quickly.” And that’s just not true. In fact, many people are scarred for life because of their parents’ divorce. It’s important to remember this so you can prepare for the worst. If you only expect the best, you may not be prepared to set your child up with a counselor a year later when he/she is still struggling or depressed.

2. Someone will lose it. Good luck to the couples that are trying to act like “mature adults” throughout the entire divorce or separation process. It’s not going to happen. At some point at least one of you is going to lose it, so just expect it. Be ready to deal with it and move on.

3. Not all problems go away. Many people are told that their life will completely start over via divorce and all things will be new! False. That ex you’re divorcing because you can’t stand him anymore… you’ll still have to see and speak to him fairly often because you’re now co-parents, even if you aren’t married anymore.

4. This is no fairytale. You may want to take time off, travel, switch jobs or start a life somewhere new now that the divorce is finally over. But good luck justifying any of that as a parent. You still have responsibilities and children that need you.

Essentially, as much as we all wish there was an easy way out… divorcing with kids is going to be painful and difficult. So be ready for it.

Divorce

Visitation Rights - My Child Doesn't Want To See Me

You are finally granted visitation rights and visiting with your child is supposed to be a time to look forward to. But, what do you do when your child doesn’t want to see you? You can’t force a child to visit with his or her parent.

Your child’s refusal of visits can be because:

  • You are not tuned into his or her interests
  • Your child is very young and anxious about separation from the custodial parent

The following can be helpful:

  • Talk to your child – see why he or she doesn’t want to visit with you
  • Assure your child that you love him or her
  • Explain what happens during visits
  • Allow your child a week or so without visits

If your child doesn’t want to leave their primary home, have a heart-to-heart talk with your ex-spouse. The problem might be an easy one, such as paying more attention to your child or having more toys at your home.

If you are concerned about your time with your child and need some good advice about next steps, contact the experienced Orange County family attorneys at the Holstrom family law offices to discuss your options.

Child Custody / Co-Parenting

What Are Advance Directives?

Some decisions are best not left until the end of life. One of these is to put safeguards in place regarding medical treatments you wish to receive or not receive in the event of serious injury or illness. Advance healthcare directives are the best way to make sure that your health care wishes are known and considered if for any reason you are unable to speak for yourself.

At Holstrom, Block & Parke, we draft advance healthcare directives for families and individuals in Southern California. These legal instruments, along with the durable power of attorney, are essential parts of any good estate plan; they are also very affordable. In other words, there is no good reason not to have them.

For a free phone consultation — call any of our three Southern California office locations directly or schedule an appointment by contacting us online.

Avoid Mistakes by Working With Our Experienced Estate Planning Team

California law allows you to do either, or both, of the following:

  • Appoint an Attorney-in-Fact – If you are unable to make your own health care decisions, then the person you have appointed as you attorney-in-fact will be your health care agent and have the legal authority to make your medical care decisions.
  • Fill Out an Advance Health Care Directive Form – This allows you to write down, in detail, your healthcare wishes. For example, if you are terminally ill and do not wish to receive treatments that will prolong the dying process, you can create an advance directive, and your appointed agent and doctor would be legally obligated to follow your instructions.

To learn more about advance directives or about any of the other estate planning services our lawyers provide — call any one of our office locations directly or contact us online.

Free Telephone Consultations- (855) 747-6225 - Major Credit Cards Accepted

Estate Planning

What is a Writ and How Does It Relate to Appeals?

In English law, a writ was a command, in letter form, written by or at least signed and sealed by the King. They were originally written in Latin and sealed with what was known as the “Great Seal.” Writs were mandatory in order to have a case heard in the Royal court.

Today, a writ is defined as “a form of written command in the name of a court or other legal authority to act, or abstain from acting, in some way.” A writ is also referred to as a directive from a higher court used to order a lower court to take an action that is within accordance of the law.

An example of a writ: If a lower court makes the decision to try a case outside of its jurisdiction, a writ of mandamus, or writ of mandate, is often sought from a higher court by one or the other attorneys in a given case. This writ orders the lower court to transfer the case to its appropriate jurisdiction.

The Difference between Writs and Appeals

Appeals are not made to a higher court until the decision of the lower court is finalized. In other words after the judgment is made and a final verdict is recorded. Writs, on the other hand do not require a final decision. They are immediate orders used in certain circumstances in the course of a trial or hearing. Writs will interrupt the proceedings of a court case, which results in delays and hassles for one or all parties.

It isn’t often that a higher court issues a writ to a lower court. Only under extraordinary circumstances and situations where there is no other solution or where a party in a case could be caused harm or have their rights infringed.

Overall, writs are designed to force the lower court to change what they are doing or to take an action they would otherwise overlook or simply not choose to do. Since appeals are seldom reversed, good attorneys keep their eyes and ears open for opportunities to get a writ in extenuating circumstances.

Holstrom, Block & Parke is a law firm of highly experienced attorneys who can help you with appeals or writs when necessary. You have nothing to lose by taking advantage of a free consultation.

Appeals

What's Keeping You From Moving On?

Once it’s all said and done, divorcees just want to “move on.” A long divorce process can involve a lot of blood, sweat and tears and you’ll want to put it all behind you and start living. Yet a few months have passed and you find yourself stuck in a post-divorce or separation rut. Life doesn’t seem to be moving and you’re not sure what’s holding you back.

Author Lisa Ardens recently wrote that there’s a good chance you’re probably doing one of these things wrong if you’re having trouble moving on:

  • Forgiveness: Most people respond with frustration when asked to forgive their ex. “How could I possibly forgive him/her?” is a common response. But the old saying is true—you’re not hurting him or her by not forgiving your ex, you’re only hurting yourself.
  • Grasping: When we lose a part of ourselves, or big changes occur, it’s common to grasp at whatever is left. Often the only thing left after all the paperwork is signed is pain. You hold onto that pain because it’s the only thing you have left to remember the last time you were a family. (Or what you view as a family.) Letting go of that pain means you might start to forget that time. And that’s ok. It’s time to let go.
  • Associations: That song, that image, that dress, that car… there are so many things that can immediately pull you back into “that life” and “that time” with your ex. Good news- you can retrain your brain. It will take time and it’s not easy, but you can consciously decide to think of those things for what they are now, and what they could be, not what they were.
  • Isolation: This is an issue for introverts, more often. It may seem like a natural reaction to isolate yourself from the world. And if you need to for a week or so, go for it. But know that it’s not healthy and you need human interaction. There are friends and family members who will listen and want to be there for you. Or they will just go out with you and get your mind off it. Let them help. Humans are not meant to be alone.
  • Self-care: This can be the biggest struggle for single parents, especially if you now bare the sole responsibility of caring for your kids. Remember that you can only sufficiently take care of them if you’ve taken care of yourself first.
After Divorce / Divorce

Worries and Woes in a Custody Battle

Probably the hardest and most emotional part of a divorce or separation is deciding what will happen to the children. When both partners want the kids, it can have both a positive and negative aspect. It’s positive because it almost certainly means that the kids are important to both parents. The negative element happens when the parents can’t come to agreement on how this should take place. Then you have a custody battle.

One of the worries people have regarding a custody fight, is allowing the whole world to hear about their past transgressions. Sometimes skeletons long hidden in the closet are brought out by the soon to be ex. Parents feel their past indiscretions will make them seem unfit. Take heart, the judges and lawyers have heard it all before. It may seem like a major deal to you, but it is a daily occurrence for them, kind of like exposing yourself with all your flaws to the doctor. Nobody is perfect, and they don’t expect you to be. Don’t fret; most of the things your ex will bring out will have no effect on the judge’s decision. Unless you have done something that will harm the children or possibly cause health problems, you needn’t worry.

The most important thing the judge is interested in is “what is in the best interest of the children”. If you have been the main caretaker for the children that probably won’t change. If you want to be more involved in the lives of the children you must show yourself to be responsible, and important to the well-being of the kids. This may take some time. Be willing to go slowly and little by little you will probably get more time with the kids.

Child Custody

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