Divorce affects everyone differently. For the lucky few, divorce is a relatively pleasant experience. Some individuals are able to amicably wrap up their relationship and move on. For others, divorce can be a tedious and stressful process. Individuals can get to such an unhealthy point in their relationship that they want to fight over every asset and issue surrounding the divorce, almost as if for sport.
Regardless of the type of divorce you are going through, there is often some stress related to the unknown because imagining life after divorce is impossible. On top of worrying about issues such as your future living situation and the effect that divorce may have on your children, there is almost always stress surrounding finances.
A lot of stress regarding finances can be overcome by increasing your income. Some of us are stay at home moms and some of us work either part-time or full-time; but even for those of us that work full-time, our family’s total income has likely decreased because we no longer have our ex-spouse’s income coming in. But how can we, as women, increase our income?
First, sit down and write out what marketable skills you have. It is important to actually write down what skills you have so that you can create a plan for yourself moving forward. Even if you did not work during the marriage, it is still likely that you have marketable skills. For example, a stay at home mom that helped volunteer as a team mom or helped coach her daughter’s soccer team has plenty of marketable skills. That individual has experience working with children, has the ability to coordinate events, has experience dealing with unruly parents, and has the ability to both lead and be a team player. These skills will transfer into a plethora of job opportunities that are not necessarily limited to the realm of sports. While applying for a job at a sports complex or getting paid to coach are some of the more obvious options, these marketable skills will also transfer well into other fields such as an event planner, babysitter, or customer service representative.
Second, look at your schedule and write down the realistic hours that you have available to work. It may be the case that you only have a couple hours on the weekends when your ex-spouse has parenting time. Or, it may be the case that you have to work from home. Regardless of how little “extra” time you have to work, any extra work you do will lead to an increase in your income and a decrease in your stress.
Third, start actively looking for a job. If you do not look for a job, be certain that a job opportunity is not going to just fall into your lap. Remember that creating a new opportunity for yourself will also help you to move on. This job will be something “new” that doesn’t have anything to do with your ex. This is a healthy way to start paving the road to creating a new life after divorce.