It may feel like you’re doing everything right. You might that that no matter how hard you’ve tried, your ex still hates you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You co-parent, so it’s not like you can simply not see him. You share holiday time and drop the kids off, so she’s going to be around. Orange County isn’t huge, and you’re going to run into each other. Why does she hate you so much?
Author Abby Rodman recently wrote a HuffPost article we summarized below. Your ex may hate you because…
- You started the divorce process. In your mind it may have been mutual or necessary for both parties. But that’s not the way he sees it. If you’re the one who instigated the divorce, it may take her a very long to forgive you. You can ask her to accept that the marriage wasn’t meant to be, but time may be the only healing factor.
- Money is always the answer. You probably don’t see how much he’s struggling if you’re doing just fine. It may not have been your intention, but while you were married he was financially stable and now he’s not. Naturally he may blame you for his troubles. Show him you’re willing to negotiate fairly and help if he needs it, and that’s all you can do.
- Kids- If the kids aren’t happy with your ex, you’d naturally resent him/her. So if he even suspects that the kids aren’t thrilled to be with, he’ll be pissed. Or if he thinks they’re happier to be with you than him, he’ll be pissed.
- You’re not single. You may not see it as a downside if your ex finds another partner, but that may not be the way she sees it. She may want to be happy for you, but she probably can’t yet.