Probably the hardest and most emotional part of a divorce or separation is deciding what will happen to the children. When both partners want the kids, it can have both a positive and negative aspect. It’s positive because it almost certainly means that the kids are important to both parents. The negative element happens when the parents can’t come to agreement on how this should take place. Then you have a custody battle.
One of the worries people have regarding a custody fight, is allowing the whole world to hear about their past transgressions. Sometimes skeletons long hidden in the closet are brought out by the soon to be ex. Parents feel their past indiscretions will make them seem unfit. Take heart, the judges and lawyers have heard it all before. It may seem like a major deal to you, but it is a daily occurrence for them, kind of like exposing yourself with all your flaws to the doctor. Nobody is perfect, and they don’t expect you to be. Don’t fret; most of the things your ex will bring out will have no effect on the judge’s decision. Unless you have done something that will harm the children or possibly cause health problems, you needn’t worry.
The most important thing the judge is interested in is “what is in the best interest of the children”. If you have been the main caretaker for the children that probably won’t change. If you want to be more involved in the lives of the children you must show yourself to be responsible, and important to the well-being of the kids. This may take some time. Be willing to go slowly and little by little you will probably get more time with the kids.