What Is an Amicable Divorce?
In a nutshell, an amicable divorce is where the participants work together to solve their problems as a team. In doing so, the individuals involved in separating attack the problem—rather than each other—as they might in a contested divorce.
Truth be told, navigating an amicable divorce is challenging. You are asking people who are in an emotionally traumatic situation, where they are experiencing fear, anger, a sense of loss or abandonment—and the anxiety related to many unknowns—to be “amicable” towards each other.
Anyone who has been through a divorce can tell you it’s a challenge to be amicable in a time like this.
As with any challenge, an amicable divorce requires both sides to remain patient, allow for mistakes, and stay focused on the ultimate goal. The only way to do this under such extreme emotions is to work with the right professionals, be it those who specialize in communication and management of emotions, children, law, and/or finance.
In a collaborative divorce process, the separating couple works with a team of professionals, each of whom bring skills to “walk people off the ledge” by providing information in a clear and understandable way. Both parties gain tools and insights for working through the emotional trauma and uncovering the unknowns introduced by a divorce.
When people feel supported by those around them, it provides clarity and reduces the fears and conflict. Under these conditions, a separating couple can be amicable and can focus on their goals—their own goals and those for their children. It is an incredible shift to watch their fear disappear; it’s as if the real person is finally allowed to come out of their cave and make good decisions that allows the family and the self to move forward into their respective best future.
– Diana L. Martinez, is a foremost collaborative attorney, mediator, lecturer & trainer.
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